Hello friends,
As I’ve said before, April is National Sexual Assault Awareness Month and during this month we want to take every opportunity to raise awareness and help victims. So for the next few weeks, I’ll be posting a blog that ties directly into one of the areas of our acronym.
C.Y. C.H.R.I.S.T stands for Christian Youth Combating Harassment, Rape, Incest, Slavery, and Intimate Terrorism. I’ll also be covering some other topics during this month.
Although the month is officially called “Sexual Assault Awareness,” I believe that in the realms of sexual violence to focus on one part and ignore another does not work. It is all intertwined, or at least related, so we’ll be covering all of the topics in our name, as well as some others.
Harassment
This blog is going to be covering sexual harassment. So what is harassment?
The U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission defines sexual harassment as:
Harassment can include “sexual harassment” or unwelcome sexual advances, requests for sexual favors, and other verbal or physical harassment of a sexual nature.
This type of harassment usually takes place at work. Most serious is when superiors use sexual harassment against their subordinates. In situations like this, where the subordinate’s job may feel at stake, saying “no,” doesn’t seem like an option. Coworkers can also be sexually harassing toward their co-workers to gain favors, leverage or power. Sexual harassment can also take place in learning environments, or with supposed friends, or at social functions.
The key to understanding what sexual harassment is if someone is making comments or asking for things of a sexual nature and that you are uncomfortable with. You should never feel uncomfortable or pressured into doing something you don’t want to do, especially at work, or school, or anywhere. Even in the home and family, sexual harassment can have a form, where a partner demeans the other, however, this getting more into the realms of intimate terrorism (domestic violence) and psychological abuse. We’ll talk more about that in a few weeks.
What can I do if I experience sexual harassment?
There can be many different ways for you to get help if you feel sexually harassed, depending on where it takes place. Firstly, you should always tell the person that what they’re doing/saying is making you uncomfortable and that they need to stop.
In the workplace, you can report it to your Human Resources division or representative. Most companies and businesses have confidential reporting policies so that your identity can stay safe. You can file a charge with a state agency or the U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission and can find out more about this at https://www.eeoc.gov/employees/charge.cfm.
At School, you can have many options for reporting and can do so in a confidential way. Most schools have a place where you can make complaints about teachers, whether that’s through the office of the dean, or with your academic advisor or coach, or campus counselors. You can usually very easily find information on your school’s website by searching “complaint.”
Social settings can be more challenging. It can depend on the situation as well. For instance, just walking in public and someone makes a bad comment, it can be better to just ignore it. Be situationally aware, if the person continues to bother you or starts to escalate what they’re doing, then it’s time to get help. It can also be helpful to record such events like writing them down. If you have a friend who makes comments that you’re uncomfortable with, you should again tell them that what they’re doing isn’t right. Good friends will stop what they’re doing. If they continue you should confide in someone close to you about it, voice your concerns and consider cutting the harasser off and make sure you stay safe.
Witnessing Sexual Harassment
If you witness sexual harassment occurring, you shouldn’t just go by and let it happen. The parable of the Good Samaritan applies just as much in this case. You can make an important impact by standing up for what’s right. Whether that makes the harasser see what they’re doing is wrong and they won’t get away with it or letting the victim know that there’s someone on their side. Just because you have to intervene doesn’t necessarily mean you need to say how wrong it is or even bring attention to what’s going on. RAINN has an excellent page dedicated to sexual harassment and a section on what you can do to intervene, by remembering their acronym, CARE.
You can create a distraction to interrupt the harassment. Ask the person being harassed about it and how you can help. Refer to someone in a position of authority, (or a different authority) which is the safest way to intervene. Enlist other’s help and support. You can read more about CARE by going to https://www.rainn.org/articles/sexual-harassment.
Sexual Harassment in Faith-Based Settings
As hard as it may be to believe, sexual harassment can take place in places of worship too. These situations can be especially difficult to handle but here’s what it can look like in church, and what can be done about it.
Firstly, sexual harassment in church can either look very similar to sexual harassment in workplaces and schools or can have its own unique situation. For instance, many cases of faith-based sexual abuse include some kind of Biblical text that helps the offender justify what they’re doing and/or coerce and manipulate the victim.
Either church members or leaders can be the harassers. For both cases, you should tell them that what they’re doing is wrong and that they need to stop. If its a church member, you can go to a leader and talk about what’s going on. Jesus gave guidance on how to handle someone who sins against you, in Matthew 18:15-17.
“But if he will not hear, take with you one or two more, that ‘by the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.’
If that fails, Jesus then says that it should be brought to the church. For church leaders reading this, that doesn’t mean you have to say who was being harassed. In the same way companies have confidential reporting, even if you can’t have it on a small level, you must at least have it at the church-wide level. These are sensitive situations and care must be taken to make sure things are done right. You do not do right by the victim if you reveal to the church everything that was reported to you without consulting the victim.
If it’s a church leader that’s doing the harassment going to their superiors, whether it’s at the conference or archdiocese level, or whatever level there is. Because of the scandals that have taken place within the Catholic church, the Southern Baptist church and the Adventist church where superiors covered up such incidences it can be hard to trust these institutions.
You should record the incidents and report them to friends and family, and to law enforcement. If it’s a pastor or priest, some states have laws that put them on the level of a mental health counselor and it becomes a serious crime if they are abuse that power. Churches are also non-profit organizations under the IRS and have to be registered with the state. You can submit a complaint to your state’s non-profit regulator and can find a list at https://www.irs.gov/charities-non-profits/state-links.
Victims of Sexual Harassment
If you’ve experienced sexual harassment, I’m sorry for what you’ve been through and want to let you know that you can find help. Wherever harassment occurs it can be incredibly stressful and painful. It is not your fault. There is no excuse for what someone else chooses to do.
You can call RAINN’s hotline at (800) 656-4673, or chat online at online.rainn.org.
If you’re a member of the armed forces or contractor and are experiencing sexual harassment you can call DoD’s Safe Hotline at 877-995-5247, or visit safehelpline.org
Here are just a few scriptures to help and encourage you:
Deuteronomy 31:6,8
Joshua 1:9
Isaiah 26:3,4
Isaiah 43:1-3
Psalm 27:1-3
Psalm 34:17
Micah 7:7
II Timothy 1:7
II Thessalonians 3:3