Although Cybersecurity Awareness Month is over, we wanted to address one more very important topic regarding not only cyber-security but the church’s most important resource. The youth and kids are one of the most precious resources that churches have. They’re the ones who are going to finish the gospel work, who will lead the church, and continue to be a light to the world. However, there is a real problem with keeping the youth in the church, and a significant problem with keeping them safe.
We’ll talk about ways that you as a church, or as a ministry can help keep the youth and kids cyber safe.
The Main Problem…(that no one likes to talk about)
The main way that youth and kids are victimized online is something that many people may not like to acknowledge, especially a church. But the gospel is not an all-warm and fuzzy message, Jesus dealt with difficult situations all the time and did so with tact and kindness. We should do the same and be unafraid to address issues.
Child Sexual Exploitation
Yeah…that main problem. The National Center for Missing and Exploited Children had nearly 38,000 reports last year on enticement and an additional 1,428 reports on sextortion – more on that one a little later.
I have seen several cases this year where this directly affected youth and kids who were in a church or faith-based setting. Let’s look into this problem a little bit more.
Online Enticement
The majority of how youth and children are sexually victimized is online. The internet, social media, and online gaming platforms have become a major hunting ground for child predators.
They will befriend a youth or kid on one of these platforms and begin the process known as “grooming.” We won’t get too deep into terminology or specifics as this blog is dedicated to cybersecurity for your youth, but a basic understanding is necessary.
Grooming is basically the process of gaining a child’s trust to exploit them. The process can take months, and usually continues after the sexual acts begin to ensure the child does not report.
The enticement is the act of enticing a child to meet the offender for sex. This is usually done through grooming. Many times, the youth or child believes they are talking to other kids their age. Other times they know it’s an adult but the offender has done such a good job of making them believe they are loved and are special that they are willing to meet with them.
Sextortion
This is the act of obtaining compromising, embarrassing, or otherwise undesirable photos or videos that the minor doesn’t want to become public, or shown to parents and then using those photos or videos to extort the minor for more compromising photos or videos, or sex. These photos are typically sexual in nature.
This act also usually requires the grooming process, but not always. Usually, the offender will befriend the victim, and get them to send the offender a photo that is just compromising or embarrassing enough that they can use it against them. It all goes downhill from here, especially if the child or youth is not able to get help right away.
The offender can use that one photo to extort more photos, or videos, that are more compromising, and can use those to extort the minor into meeting them for sex. Many victims report feeling trapped.
What can the Church Do?
You may be thinking, “well that’s just awful but what does the church have to do with any of this?” You have a lot you can do to prevent and stop it. Churches are supposed to be safe places, they’re supposed to be schools of Spiritual education and for bringing us closer to Jesus. He said,
“Come to Me all you who labor and are heavy laden and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30.
Think about what this could mean for a youth or child experiencing this type of abuse. Think about how you, as a church can offer this to youth and children who are experiencing this type of abuse.
With the Youth
Creating an Atmosphere to “Come,” and Find “Rest.”
Let’s talk about it. First, you need to offer an atmosphere that is comfortable for youth and kids to come. Many youths may feel that church and Christianity is judgmental about sexual feelings and will condemn them for having them. This isn’t true, God designed us to have these feelings and designed a plan for us to express them in a safe and meaningful way, but more on that in a different blog.
If youth feel like they will be judged, shunned, or otherwise retaliated against for sexual problems, they won’t bring those problems to you and seek help. Even though many youths have these burdens, they don’t feel like they can come and find rest. They feel like they’ll instead find judgment.
Change the tone. In a Christ-like and holy way, strive to have conversations that deal with this topic and help the youth to feel comfortable talking about this. They will only report problems if they trust you will help them and not turn them away.
Gentle and Lowly in Heart
The youth are smart (speaking as a youth) and can tell when you don’t have a gentle and lowly Spirit. Often times we will be shocked and appalled when they first report it, but be sure to let them know that it wasn’t their fault and that you’d like to help them. The youth will find this a relief and will most likely be willing to let you help. But make sure they can start seeing now that you are a trusted person they can come too.
For Parents, From the Church
It may seem controversial to have a meeting that is dedicated to addressing this topic, but honestly, it is needed and helpful. Not only for people in your church but for your community.
So what can you do for parents, as the church? It would be very beneficial to talk about this issue with parents, help them be aware of it and what to look for, or how to protect their children. Nothing is so powerful as education. Parents need to be equipped to know what to look for, and how they can help their children. Parents can also be given helpful tips on what they can do to mitigate the risk of their children being exploited. And, if the worse happens, what parents can do to be there for their children.
Cyber Specific
Let’s briefly talk about cyber-specific recommendations that can help children and youth stay safe.
The internet is anonymous. If you haven’t met someone in real life, know that they might not be who they say there are. That’s why, on social media, you should only accept friend requests from people you know. Online gaming can be different because you may never meet those people with whom you interact.
It would be best to only accept friend requests from people you have met in real life and personally know, but if that’s not possible as in gaming platforms, the best thing is education for the child or youth on what to look for.
If you have very young children, limit their access to the internet. Place their computer in a place where you can easily be able to monitor what they’re doing on it. Be aware of the apps they have on mobile devices, and their ability to connect to the web.
Again, the most important step we can take in protecting our youth is educating them. By doing this, we can save them from a terrible experience. Some red flags may be if they notice someone taking a special interest in them, engaging them in conversation, sending them friend requests etc. It is a real red flag when that person buys something for them. In online gaming this easy to do .
Another red flag would be if that person wants to move to a more private platform to chat. The person may start slowly introducing more crude and sexual language into their conversations, or slowly sending more sexual photos. This is part of the grooming process. It has gone too far if they have sent nude photos or are requesting the same of the child or youth. At that point, the youth should break off contact and go to a trusted adult for help.
In Summary
There are many challenges that the youth and children face. The church should be a powerful resource for them, the church should follow the example of Jesus in offering rest for their souls and refreshing. The church can help keep kids and youth safe from online threats, by educating both parents, youth, and children, and by being a safe place they can go to and know they will be helped.
You can find more information on sexploitation and enticement at missingkids.com