Survivors of sexual violence often feel stigmatized, ignored, or shunned by their friends, their colleagues, their community, and sometimes even their family. There are many reasons for this, it could be anything from cultural and religious stigmas, or not knowing what to say or what to do. Special Agent Roy Hazlewood of the FBI summed it up best in just a single word, “DENIAL. People don’t want to hear about these problems much less deal with them.”
People find it hard to believe such awful things could happen and rather than choose to believe it, they put up mental blocks, come up with excuses, shift blame, and do all kinds of hurtful things thinking it’s for the best, or purely out of selfishness.
This is even more prominently felt in faith-based communities. The congregation and church refuse to believe it and basically shun the survivors out, making them feel like they’re the ones who did something wrong, that it was their fault, or that they don’t matter as much as the well-being of the church. Paul says this in 1 Corinthians 12:26, “…if one member suffers, all the members suffer with it.” However, we haven’t seen churches
respond like this.
I do want to offer some hope and encouragement. Jesus had done nothing wrong. He was speaking up for the truth and pointing people to His Father. He was healing people, doing good, but the leaders of His church did not like what He was doing. They had Him arrested and put Him on trial.
You can read this account in Matthew 26:57-68, Mark 14:53-65, Luke 22:63-71, John 18:19-23.
We’re going to start at Jesus’ arrest. We see how docile and submissive Jesus was. He offered no resistance. The prophet Isaiah described how gentle Jesus was, as silent as a lamb. Many survivors, especially those of faith-based abuse tried to be silent, tried to submit, trying to be good for the church’s sake. Some have even endured the abuse for the sake of the church.
Jesus was also beaten and bruised. Luke 22:63-65, describes just some of the abuse and beating He endured. Then comes the judgement. Mark describes it well in chapter 14:53-65. The priests, elders, and scribes tried desperately to find something that they could use against Him. In verse 57 it says that “some rose up and bore false witness against Him…”
Survivors are all tried in the court of opinion. Whether that be a congregation’s opinion or a friend’s opinion. Oftentimes, these are based on erroneous preconceptions, rumors, or unfair suppositions. It does not matter what you’ve done, God promises that He is able and willing to blot out our transgressions (Isaiah 44:22), He isn’t willing that any should perish (2 Peter 3:9). And so often in these cases, survivors are completely guiltless.
Sometimes there are people in churches, or our friends, or in our community who are not buying into our condemnation. Who might actually be on our side, but are too worried about what they’ll lose. Such was the case with Pilate in John 19:12, and like him, we may be faced with many others who wash their hands of the matter (Matthew 27:24).
We can see so many parallels in Jesus’ last few days on earth and the experience of many who have suffered abuse at the hands of others. I think this is an encouraging thought. To know that the King of the Universe, the One who created us and everything was also abused. Was also abandoned by friends. And wrongfully condemned.
We may endure the same things Jesus did, in fact in we’re told we are going to suffer for His sake (Philippians 1:29). But Jesus also gives us a promise in John 16:33, He says “These things I have spoken to you, that you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.” Jesus, through His sufferings, through His abuse, through His condemnation has overcome all.
The day will come when Christ will gather us -His children- out of this cruel world. We’re promised that He will reverse whatever false accusations were made against us, Isaiah 25:8 says “…The rebuke of His people He will take away from all the earth,” God will call us His Holy people.
Isaiah 62:12 is one of the most beautiful promises we can claim. It says “And they shall call them The Holy People, The Redeemed of the LORD; And you shall be called Sought Out, A City Not Forsaken.” We’re promised new names in Revelation 3:12.
No matter what condemnation, no matter what abuse, no matter the cost, Jesus has been there before us, and with us. He will make all things new, and right. I encourage you to do two things, one is to look up a beautiful song called I Will Change Your Name by D.J. Butler, and then to read Zechariah 3:1-5. These are beautiful truths that are promised to those who seek Jesus.
God will take away our condemnation, He will say to us, “well done, My good and faithful servant.”