Hello, this is Jordan.
Many of us just celebrated Thanksgiving and have put up our Christmas tree and decorations, or will soon turn our attention to that undertaking. It’s also the time of year when Christmas songs start to play. Everywhere you go there are decorations, music, and people all ready for holiday cheer.
However, for some, the holidays can be a miserable time. People who have had traumatic experiences around the holidays have all of those feelings dredged up again. To understand why this is, we have to look into how the brain processes trauma.
When a person goes through a traumatic event, the brain has several ways of processing this trauma. Often a person cannot recall everything that happened because their brain simply doesn’t want to remember. But as people go about their daily lives, little things can cause them to remember. These are called triggers and can induce flashbacks, or as I like to call them, “trauma echoes.” This subject deserves another blog entirely, but back to how this relates to the holidays; if someone has had a traumatic experience around the holidays, anything that relates to it can induce a trauma-echo. Music, smells, sounds, sights, many things can take you back to an unpleasant event. Not knowing when you’ll experience these echoes, can make anyone miserable.
So how can we try to minimize the effects of trauma-echoes and try to enjoy the holidays as best we can?
The physical aspects can range from trauma-echoes, feeling nervous/anxious, fast-heartbeat, elevated blood pressure, upset appetite, being suddenly startled, sleeping problems, nightmares, and many other physical effects one can have after trauma.
Here’s what you can do:
-Keep some sour candy with you. When you’re having a trauma-echo it can be hard to snap out of it. The sour candy helps to get your brain’s attention and bring you out of an echo.
-Move your feet back and forth rhythmically on the floor, take deep, slow breaths. It takes a lot of concentration and helps to calm you down.
– Try to eat as normally as possible but don’t overdo it. Don’t under-do it either. Trying to get back into normal eating habits can help you regain control of your appetite.
-Being startled is harder to cope with, especially since it is a defense mechanism your brain has put in place. Talking with a professional can help you learn how ways to manage all of these symptoms and being suddenly startled.
It can be hard to sleep because of fear of having nightmares or intrusive thoughts, or just being worried about what might happen when you sleep. Staying with trusted family and friends, and places where you feel safe, using a nightlight, -at least for a while-, can help you to feel more comfortable sleeping.
The mental effects of trauma can be more difficult to cope with. Trauma affects each of us in different ways and how our brains and behavior handles trauma is different for each person. Some of the effects are the same. Intrusive thoughts and flashbacks/trauma echoes, feeling of fear, being anxious, and we already discussed ways you can take your mind elsewhere and calm your body.
The Spiritual effects of trauma are also difficult to cope with because of how it affects each person differently. Some people may rely on religion and their spirituality to help process traumatic experiences. Some feel hurt by their religion or are mad at God. There is a very simple way to handle the spiritual side of trauma. It is to pray. Whether you pray for help, or tell God how angry you are, prayer helps. It helps by giving you an instant way to communicate your feelings. Another way is to look up Psalms in the Bible, or passages that have helped you get over difficult times in the past.
Again, you don’t have to face the holidays alone, and in fact, you shouldn’t. Reach out to your Rape Crisis center for help to get through the painful times, or call the national hotline, RAINN. And talk to your family if you feel safe and comfortable. You can lean on them for support.
The Holidays should be a time that’s full of good memories, and the chance to make more good memories.
Resources
RAINN
Hotline: (800) 656-4673
https://newsinhealth.nih.gov/2018/06/dealing-trauma
https://www.fbi.gov/resources/victim-services/coping-with-victimization
“Then your light shall break forth like the morning, your healing shall spring forth speedily, And your righteousness shall go before you; the glory of the LORD shall be your rear-guard. Then you shall call, and the LORD will answer you shall cry, and He will say, ‘Here I am.’ Isaiah 58:8